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Thursday, February 10, 2011

Newsflash: Perez Hilton Has Turned Face

I think this may be the one and only time I would ever post ANYthing on Perez Hilton, and I only do because of the history of this very site.  You see four years ago, long before I was hired to write here, a site by the name of was born and made waves pretty much from its inception.  I actually have the......honor, of being the final writer to be hired by that site. had great potential and was beginning to gain a real following, so I figured I could come on board and contribute as we prepared to take the site to the next level.  Unfortunately, sabotage struck, as the character "Devon Lohan" was taken very seriously by one of the writers who had caused much turmoil over the years and the site had to close up shop due to his many unprofessional actions.  When I joined with this renegade group of bloggers, I was given the crash course in all of the history, and the state of the site sounded like something from a reality show.  Bunch of Jerks was born from all of that, but let us not forget the origins of

The guys who launched simply had an idea... "If Perez Hilton can get famous by putting together a super gay blog where he talks shit on everyone....why can't we do the same......aside from being gay."  So a site with a bright pink layout, a mega gay character as the mascot of sorts (seen on the right,) and posts packed with attitude was launched.  The site didn't need to draw cum dribble on every picture it presented, and would actually feature posts that people cared about rather than a bunch of gay asshole babble.  Perez was the gay asshole, Devon Lohan were the assholes that were straight but thought Perez sucked and didn't deserve any of the attention he got.  As launched, a war of the words was waged with fans of Perez who were outraged that there was a new site in town that didn't talk shit just for the sake of talking shit.

Now for historical purposes, we can report that Perez Hilton has officially been punked out, and has decided to turn face and love everyone.  As the story goes, Jennifer Aniston happened to run into Perez, and basically just asked him why he is so mean.  When confronted face to face, Perez pussed out as expected, and has now "seen the light" by now only making nice posts and not talking shit.  With all this "anti-bullying" stuff going on, ol' gay Perez didn't want everyone punking him for it so he tapped out.  Goes to show Perez is and always has been just a huge attention whore, so now he's getting more attention from everyone praising him for not being mean is this 1st grade? 

Our origins were based on Perez Hilton being a dumb ass who somehow became famous, and we remain strong in our stance that Perez sucks and is a fake ass bitch.  While the DevonLohan years are over (who wanted to be stuck in pink gayville anyway,)  this is the closure that seals it all.  If you don't enjoy posts with attitude and still need a little gay in your life, be sure to visit the all new gay version of TMZ......aka

In closing, after much consideration I have decided to include the following video.  The following video will be the ONLY time you will see Perez Hilton on  I include this video only because it is Perez himself declaring A. his boy crush on Justin Bieber (HUGE shock) and B. how he has changed, and loves everyone forever and everrrrrrrrr.