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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Where Will the Best Black Friday Deals Be?

I don't remember Black Friday being such a known event when I was younger, but now it's basically the new holiday between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Years back I think it was simply known as "the worst shopping day of the year."  Stores are battling to get the most crazed stampede of shoppers from their competition, to the point where this year the traditional 5 A.M. start time is being ignored by many stores and now it's a battle to see who can start the earliest.

My question is, who has the deals that are worth getting stampeded for.  I've seen Walmart and Best Buy offering some of the newer end video games for PS3 and Xbox 360 for half price at 30 bucks, with Walmart starting the 30 dollar game sale at midnight.  I've also seen a couple of Nintendo Wii and DS deals going around that seem like winners if your in the market for games.  I was sort of waiting to see's usual Black Friday voting deals that they've done in recent years that allows you to vote on 1 of 3 offers every round, and the winning offer is offered to SOME of the people that voted.  The deals were great, although I never got the chance to buy anything I voted for.  This year they seem to have replaced the voting rounds with Black Friday Deals Week, which is Black Friday offers every day this week, with new deals popping up about every hour.  It's been kind of hard to keep up with, but it is possible to find a good Amazon deal on it.

Other than that, I'm seeing 5 and 10 dollar DVD's (for people that don't realize stores are trying to get rid of them to make more room for Blu Ray's) at most stores, and of course a ton of cameras, TV's, and other electronics and big ticket items are being pushed hard.  Pretty much every story is discounting their stuff, but hardly any that I see are really "can't miss, worth getting trampled for" deals.  I'm not saying they're not out there, but I'm wondering if they are.  So what mega deals have you seen?  What am I missing?  And what is worth getting trampled for?  Share in comments and I may add any mega deals you have found to this post.

Friday, November 12, 2010

The L.A. Noire Trailer Looks Bad Ass

L.A. Noire will be the next big game from Rockstar it looks like, and this is a game that has actually been in the works for years apparently.  After many push backs and release date changes, we finally get the first look via this trailer, and I am already interested in this game in a major way.  Looks like we have some old school gangster action here ala Dick Tracy.  Now of course I"m a huge fan of the classic 1990 Dick Tracy movie, and this game seems like it will be from the same era but of course with more realism and less over the top and colorful.  The video game season is looking better than ever, with of course Call of Duty: Black Ops is ruling the video game world right now and that will have millions of people playing for a long time to come, but it's great to know we have a ton more great games on the way, and L.A. Noire definitely looks like a game that has been worth the wait judging by this trailer:

Monday, November 8, 2010

Call of Duty Black Ops Noob Tube? I Hope Not.

I have been a big fan of the Call Of Duty series for a long time. But my love kinda died out with Modern Warfare 2. Don't get me wrong, the game itself is great, one of the best game series of all time I would say. But what turned me off the most, was the damn noob tubin. Now for those who aren't giant lazy nerds like myself, a noob tube is a player who doesn't have much first person shooting skill, so instead they use the grenade launcher attachment on the guns to just shoot all the players with grenades to kill them. Now the occasional player like this was ok, understandable to a point. But it got to where there would be an entire team of these type of players, making online play almost impossible.

Now, I am what people call, a "camper". Which is a stupid thing to complain about. Camping is, pretty much what a real sniper would really do. Sit in one spot, wait, and kill you when you come by. How is running out into the middle of the field being smart at all? Camping is just, winning. So I don't really get killed that often by these noob tubin kids. But it does make running to certain spots almost like trying to get through an earthquake. Because if they're not launching grenades all over, theyre throwing out the flash bangs. Over, and over, and over.

In Modern Warfare 2, this was a huge annoyance, to the point that I just stopped playing. But Black Ops I have high hopes for. Black Ops is made by Treyarch, and they did not make Modern Warfare 2, but they are the ones who made World At War. Which is slightly better than Modern Warfare 2 in my opinion. And the online play for World At War, there wasn't much grenade madness going on. So hopefully this is the same with Black Ops. I guess I will find out this Tuesday!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Jessica Alba Naked Pics Leaked - We ALL Care

Looks like the news of the day is that the stuck up, very private, "I'll never get naked in anything EVER" Jessica Alba has finally been b-u-s-t-e-d.  Yep it's true, the holier than thou Jessica Alba takes dirty pics with her cell phone just like other girls.  No word on how these pics leaked, but if they were stolen it was probably due to Jessica pissing people off by never showing the goods in her movies.  Recently the word was that Ms. Alba would be appearing "nude" in the recent move "Machete," and we say "nude" because it was a naked shower scene which was shot from the side so we really didn't see the good parts.  THEN come to find out, Jessica wasn't naked at all, and the scene used CGI to digitally remove her clothes.  So first she tells us she'll never do nudity in a movie, THEN uses body doubles in movies, and finally  just uses fake computer nudity.  So apparently enough was enough, and now we have real Jessica Alba boob pics that were probably meant to be private, oh well.

Of course there is the other scenario, where Jessica realizes that people are going to stop giving a shit about her unless she shows us something, so these boob pictures "accidentally leak" on the Internet, and suddenly everyone is buzzing.  These pics are from when she was pregnant or just after having her kid, so they're not the super sexy glamorous Alba pics all of you have fantasized about, but it's Alba, it's her boobs, so we have to be happy.  Check out the full story on the revelation that Jessica Alba takes topless cell phone pics too.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Lil Wayne Released from Jail....Who Cares!?

OK apparently a ton of people care, because the news is all over the place, and MTV feels the need to break into its programming to keep on letting us know that Lil Wayne is free from jail AS OF 8:35 THIS MORNING!  Keep in mind the guy has spent 8 months in jail for a gun charge, not being held captive in a far off country.  Every time I've heard about Lil Wayne lately, I hear all these people in the industry awaiting his return like a war hero or messiah.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not a "rap hater" or "racist" or anything of the sort.  I see Wayne's talent which is why everyone wants to work with him, but why is he getting a hero's welcome when he's coming out of jail for yet another screw up.  Drug charges, weapon charges, what a hero!

How about some people toning shit down a bit and making Wayne prove himself  this time around before he disappoints his fans once again.  I guess everyone who is partying and rejoicing over Wayne's release believe people shouldn't be arrested on gun charges, or maybe celebrities should get a free pass.  Frankly I think it's ridiculous and people need to get a life, other artists included.  I can already see it now, when he gets arrested again it will be "AWW poor Lil Wayne" all over again. 

So this will be a new feature here that will cover stories like this that you cannot help but avoid, and that annoy the shit out of me to the point of ranting on them.  There are plenty of them out there, and before anyone says "well why are you watching?".......get real people, this is the bullshit we get thrown in our faces on a daily basis, and it's going to take one good Jerk to step up and say........WHO CARES?

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

San Francisco Bans Happy Meals....Really?

So apparently now that San Francisco has a World Series Championship to their name, they're going to to start dictating what their citizens eat.  The city's board of supervisors has apparently banned restaurants from giving away toys with food that is unhealthy.  This ordinance is supposed to kick in about a year from now, in December of 2011, but WILL allow toys to be included IF the meal, including drink, is less than 600 calories and if less than 35% of the calories are from fat.  Now the reason of course for this is to battle childhood obesity, which is a major problem in the U.S.  Now OK, they're right, kids eat too much fast food and are fat.  But it's always been a parent's right to feed their kid crap if they choose to, but it looks like that right will be taken away in San Francisco.

Happy Meals are of course the biggest focus since they are the most famous kid's meal out there.  Who can forget the joy as a kid of grabbing a happy meal and finding a classic Happy Meal Toy that promoted a new movie or cartoon.  Hell it was enough to make a kid's day back then, and for me it wasn't something I ate daily.  Sure it had no nutritional value, but in moderation, what's the problem?  I guess kid's in San Francisco can still get that joy as long as they're ordering a grilled chicken breast with carrot sticks.  Bottom line is, parents shouldn't be dumb asses and feed their kids McDonald's burgers every day, but if they choose to do so that's their right.  But now if you live in San Francisco and want to treat your kid to a traditional Happy Meal with a toy ONCE A YEAR even, not happening.  Hell we should have the choice to order a friggin McRib in a Happy Meal and make it a thousand calorie bonanza if we so desire.  Hopefully before this deal going into action, someone will remind San Francisco that this is America, and people have the freedom to eat like morons and feed their kids like morons if they choose to do so.

Read more at:

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Vagina Blanket

Well I got the call a few hours ago that a major meeting had taken place, deals made, big plans laid out, etc., then I was notified that the Bunch of Jerks were inviting me back for a re-launch that will take this site to the of course I was all for it.  When I first came on board to the former site owned by this group, I saw a mega site with tons of posts that was on the brink of becoming a player.  Well that story had a well documented downfall, but it seems that former site is what inspired this new launch for  Well I figured it was only right to research the classic site and get a feel for what made that site so great.  What I found..........was a vagina..........blanket.  That's right, the one post that really made me stop and wonder if someone had actually seen this, then got excited enough to take a picture and post about it.  I mean sure, anyone could grab their blanket and....shape it like a vagina...but if it just randomly happened on it's own....OH the hilarity, and possible arousal?  I have no explanation, so all I can offer you is this re-post of the classic.........vagina.......blanket:

 So our very own Devon here officially has the mind of a 13 year old boy. As he sent me this wonderful photo after walking into his bedroom that hasn't seen a woman in about, oh well never, and he looks down and sees that his crumpled up blanket, has the shape of a vagina!! OMFG ITS SO FUNNYYYYYYYZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ So he ran laughing getting his camera and took a picture of it, to savor the moment that it will be the ONLY time he ever has something that even closely resembles a vagina, on his bed.

Well, here it is folks!Yeah, I know, this is pointless but fuck it. News is slow. Normally this would be posted on our message boards, but in another case of Devon acting like a 13 year old, he went and told on us cause we used his fat pink face and they closed our boards down.

J.U.A.N. - Classic Devon Lohan Posts Revisited

Have you Seen Miss Marcus Jackson?
Ever had a Vagina Blanket?

We have, and the jerks are bringing you a special Election Edition of J.U.A.N. ( Jerks Up All Night)- Classic Devon Lohan Posts Revisited.

Break out the popcorn and curl up in your favorite vagina blanket, Jerks are Up All Night, for your entertainment.

Where Have You Gone, Miss Marcus Jackson?

You know who I miss?
Miss Marcus Jackson.
It's political season. The teabaggers have won. Where is Miss Jackson to gloat?

For those of you who don't remember, Miss Marcus was the "Real American" frenemy of Devon Lohan. She loved America and She loved John McCain. She wasn't about to let our country be overrun by some dark Muslim overlords. I really hope she didn't do anything dangerous after McCain lost that election. I like to think she went back to "the wilderness" and worked behind the scenes to reclaim her country.

I'm Sorry Miss Jackson. I am for Reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaal. Whatever I said, Whatever I did, I didn't mean it. I just want you back for good. Please Come Back!

If you don't remember, this was Miss Marcus at her finest. She wrote "Real Americans Support John McCain" for the DL Blog. Since one of our writers messed up and got the Google Warning added to it, I'm just going to repost the whole thing here:

These are dangerous times we are living in. Militant Islamo-fascists want to destroy Americans. Radical socialists want to turn us into Cuba or Venezuela. Anti-White racists want to overthrow the government and install Barack Hussein Obama as our Robert Mugabe.

Make no mistake, if Barack Obama is elected, the terrorists will win. John McCain is a very polite man and wants to stay out of the "dirty politics." He has stated that Obama is a "fine family man." This is because he knows he cannot tell the truth. He will be branded a racist and it will cost him media and votes. He knows that radical foreign Muslims pose a grave threat to our American way of life.

John McCain is a real American. He has served his country admirably and is a decorated War Hero. He has selflessly served in the U.S. Senate, diligently fighting the communists in our midsts. He has what it takes to lead us to Victory, from Day One.

His running mate Sarah McCain is a regular American who knows what it is like to work for a living. Her husband Todd is a rugged man's man, who sacrificed his blue collar $100,000 a year job so his wife could reform the State of Alaska. They have struggled to raise 5 wonderful children on the combined salaries of a humble public servant, oil field worker, fisherman, and snowmobile racer. Mrs. Palin, as a beautiful white woman, did not have the privilege of attending fancy universities. And her Eskimo husband has faced ugly racism and discrimination.

These are the people who know what it is like to be middle class, hardworking, and not know where their next meal is coming from. Often times, in order to feed their children, Mrs. Palin even had to go out and shoot a moose or muskrat. When they were hungry, Bill Ayers did not invite them over for dinner. Tony Resko did not buy them a house. They scrimped and saved for a modest half a million dollar cottage, which Todd built with his bare hands.

I submitted my vote for John McCain via absentee ballot. Unlike most of Barack Obama's supporters I have a job, and I am not allowed to take the whole day off to vote. I am afraid this may decide the election. While regular Americans are at work today, those who manage to cast their votes on their lunch break are being threatened and turned away by armed Black Panthers.

Meanwhile Obama supporters recently received their monthly welfare benefits and are waiting in line at the ballot box, flush with malt liquor, fried chicken, and Kool cigarettes. They have nothing to do but vote for their Messiah, who promises to pay their bills.

The Jerks Are Back!

That's right assholes. The Jerks are coming back. The crew that made the attitude era of internet blogs. Hide your BUDDIES, the band is getting back together. Were doing it old school. Lohan style. Talking about whatever we want, and showing our true feelings about things. Most blog sites are paid off by big companies to post positive things. (Think about Cameron slipping that fat lard over at Aint It Cool a few bucks to talk about how awesome Avatar is even though that movie sucked balls)

We are coming back, to tell it how it is. And to spread the word about awesome shit that we find. Like pocket poon!

The New Jerk Order is here.