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Saturday, January 30, 2010

Body By Jake And Randy Courture Have Made Me Upset!

So, I am sitting here, late at night, watching TV. And a commercial comes on for an exercise machine from Body By Jake. Here is the commercial, take a watch..........

Now, I am watching this commercial thinking. Hey you know what? I could do that work out! Maybe I should look into getting this machine.......

And then the commercial starts to, patronize me. "Come on you can't find 11 minutes in a day?!" Uh well, yeah I could, are you saying I'm lazy? Cause I'm not. By the time I have 11 minutes in a day, it's after spending about 12 nonstop hours of being a father. Chasing a 1 year old around the house all day is more of a workout than pulling on rubber bands for 11 minutes.

But whatever, I am still thinking about getting the machine until..........

Randy Courture calls me a princess.

A princess.

Randy, I am not a princess. If anything, I am a prince. I do not appreciate being called a princess in any way shape or form. And because of that I will NEVER buy that stupid rubber band machine. Or any other product they put out to transform your body. How do you like that princess? I was gonna buy your machine, until you called me a princess. See, who has the power? You or me? I do! That is all.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

The Untold Story Of Rocky Balboa

If you thought the epic fight in Rocky Balboa was just about Rocky fighting todays current champ, you thought wrong....

Soon after Ivan Drago killed Apollo, Mary Anne Creed went into a deep depression. And could no longer care for her own children. So she sent them away to military school. And tried to live her life and rebuild it.

She would frequent boxing matches and think about her late husband and one night, a couple years down the road, she met a man, he was a trainer. His name was Joe. He had been training boxers for years now ya see?

Well, they got married, and she had legally changed her last name to Joes last name, along with her children. Mostly out of tradition, but also to get away from the Creed name so she could fully move on with her life.

Her children had finished military school and came home and were pretty happy with Joe. Apollo was a great boxer, but a good father he wasnt. Spending time running on the beach with Rocky in the ghetto instead of being at home with his family kinda put their family in a "rocky" situation.

Well one of her kids got the itch for boxing. And against his mothers wishes, Joe trained him. And he went on to be a big name in the amatuer boxing world, until being one of the biggest names in the entire boxing world.

See, her sons name....

was Mason.

And Joe Dixon. Trained him.


Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Apple Reveals iPad, I Reveal A Yawn.

So, Apple teased a huge event for weeks. What would we see? iTablet? iPhone 4.0? iPhone HD? All of the above? Well, today was the day, and what do we get??
The iPad!!

What is the iPad? Well, do me a favor. For those of you that own an iPhone or iTouch, pull them out of your pockets or butts or wherever else you keep them. Ok, now imagine them about 3 times bigger than they are now. There ya have it! The iPad!

Wow this is stupid. It feels like the iPad shoulda been announced years ago with the smaller version of it being the new reveal.

So yeah, there really isn't much to say here, price for it starts at $499 for the 16gb model. Add $100 more for the 32gb, and another $100 for the 64gb model. This is probably the biggest let down ever. It will also come with 3G model versions. 30 bucks a month with AT&T gives you unlimited data. No contracts.

I have had an iPad for a couple months now, but unlike this new one announced today, mine fits in my pocket and I can make phone calls with it.

Dear Apple,



Toyota 100% Reimbursement Offer?!

I got a letter in the mail the other day from Toyota. Claiming that since I am a preferred customer, I have been sent a letter offering me 100% reimbursement for my vehicle I got last year. Now, true, I would think I am a preferred customer. I have been a loyal Toyota driver for the past couple years. And always make payments on time. But last January I traded in my 08 Corolla for a 07 Highlander. For family reasons. Needed something bigger and roomier, of course, even still, the Highlander is not big enough for all the baby needs. On top of that, Toyota kinda screwed me over, they sold me a junk heap. After taking the car in for its usual service, I was informed of numerous problems. I let it go since I couldn't afford it. Couple months later, needed an oil change so I took it somewhere else besides Toyota, and they found all the same problems. But they were about 400 dollars cheaper to fix there than at Toyota. So I shelled out everything it took. But I was very curious as to why after only a year would it have so many problems? And I learned something.... Toyota doesn't take care of their used cars.

Turns out, the previous owner of the Highlander, never took care of it. Ever. So he traded it into Toyota and Toyota, instead of addressing the problems and fixing them, just put the car right out for sale. So far in the past year I have spent over $500 to repair everything that I feel Toyota should have. Is this the way to treat a preferred customer?

So, this letter I received appears to be that I can take this letter into Toyota for this weekend only, and trade it in for a 09 or even 10 vehicle! At no money down! Well, I don't fully understand the extent of this letter, but I am gonna bite. The Highlander I have is a little on the small side still. We could use something with a little more room. And better gas mileage. The mileage kinda sucks on the Highlander, get it? Yeah...........

So, if you also got this letter, I would say it's worth checking out. I will of course address the fact that I just spent $430 just a couple weeks ago and would like a little something in return for my trouble.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Dillons at Scorpion Bay on Lake Pleasant Review

Yep, that's right kids, we now do food reviews. The wife, baby and I usually dine out maybe once a week or so, and figured if anyone out there is doing the same, you might wanna know what's good, in AZ at least, since that's where I live. Of course if I'm every out of town, I'll do food reviews there too, but anyways, on with the first food review!

Dillons is a little restaurant that is actually down the street from my house. I have never gone, but I drive past it often. Today we were bored and wanted a day out of the house and decided we would go to the lake and spend the day. We got there and were surprised to see that Dillons now has a location, literally ON the lake. It's the only place anywhere close to the lake to get food so it's pretty convenient for the local fisherman needing a bite to eat. So we took the long journey down the stairs and across the walkway over to Dillons, here is an image of Dillons out on the lake I got from their website....The first building you get to is where Dillons is located. Everything else is just docks for boat rentals and whatever else. You have the choice to sit inside or out on the deck, we chose the deck. Now they had the usual menu of burgers and other sandwiches, steaks and ribs, salads and soups, the usual stuff, sports bar style food. The wife is a burger fanatic, everywhere we go, if they have a burger, she gets it. So she of course ordered, The Burger. I myself went for the Pulled Pork Sandwich with Cajun BBQ sauce. Since like my wife is with burgers, I am with BBQ sauce. I LOVE BBQ. The service was quick and nice, the scenery is great.

The Burger. The wife said it was ok. Didn't knock her socks off, but she liked it. It was just a typical burger.

The Pulled Pork Sandwich was pretty good, but what really set it apart from others was the BBQ sauce. They had choices of Mild, Sweet, or Cajun. I went with the Cajun and I gotta say, it is one of the best BBQ Sauces I have ever had. With the word Cajun thrown in there you fear it might be really spicy and you're fighting back the burning tongue all during your meal but it wasn't bad at all. It was perfect and very good.

Its a safe bet that we will make a return visit to Dillons. On top of having good food they are very reasonably priced as well. For the two meals and three drinks the whole thing came to just 25 bucks. So I was pleased. Click here to check out pictures from the website and find more info.

Here is a pic I took from our table with my iPhone.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Racist Jerks Demand You Donate To Haiti Through Texting! Now!

So in a previous post this site was called BUNCH OF RACIST JERKS. Well, the writers here at this site have donated a combined $200+ dollars to Haiti. Have you?

If us JERKS can find the few seconds it takes to dig out the money we don't have to send aid to those that need help in Haiti, then you honorable people should have no problem at all doing this. Follow these steps, it's the easiest thing in the world to do....

Pick up your trusty little cell phone....

Dial.... 90999

And send the word HAITI through a text message.


You just donated $10 to Haiti. Don't you feel better about yourselves now?

If you're wondering how this is all set up, it's through the American Red Cross, and the $10 goes onto your cell phone bill. If you fee like donating more, well obviously just send more than one text message. Stop text stalking that girl you met by sending her random creepy text messages, and send a text message that will actually mean something.

For now, I'm gonna go eat some fried chicken and drink some kool aid, cause I'm racist see?

Can white people go see Tyler Perry movies?

I am really confused about Tyler Perry movies, see I have never in my life talked to someone who has actually seen one of these movies. I have 1 black friend, and he has never seen one either. So I am curious about these movies. But, I am afraid of going to the theater to see them. I imagine this..........

I get my popcorn and soda, and walk into a theater full of black people, all giving me the evil eye. And I can hear their thoughts.... WHAT DIS HONKY DOIN IN HUR FO A TYLER PERRY MOVIE?! HEY CRACKA! AVATAR IS IN ANOTHA THEATUH!

And I will probably end up getting my soda stolen, popcorn dumped on the ground, and shoes ripped from my feet tied together and thrown on the nearest telephone line.

So I just wonder, do white people go to the movies to see Tyler Perry movies? Are they even any good? Why? And why are all of those movies the same? It's always about a bunch of black people and their relationship/family problems. I don't understand it I guess. But I don't think I would ever be brave enough to go to the theaters to see one of these movies. I would try to rent them but, for some strange reason every time I go to the video store to ask for a copy, they say they're always stolen. Hmm....

Monday, January 18, 2010

Christina Hendricks and her Golden Globes are winners!

Yeah yeah, Avatar beat The Hurt Locker and Inglourious Bastards, but who cares? Look at that rack! Christina Hendricks showed up at the Golden Globes and the internet stood still while these pics were uploaded to every website you can imagine. I think because of her I should seriously start watching Mad Men already.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Jay Leno Is A Bag OF Dicks. Officially Back On The Tonight Show

So, Jay Leno pretends to get all pissed with Conan so he doesn't look like the bad guy. Saying he doesn't want to take back the Tonight Show, and even says he will ALSO walk away from NBC!

Today Jay Leno signed a new contract to go back to hosting the Tonight Show....

Look, I am not gonna go into a big thing about this, because I feel exactly how 90% of everyone else does. Jay Leno and NBC are tools and this is some stupid shit. Here is Hitler to sum up everyones feelings...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Netflix Instant Streaming On The Nintendo Wii This Spring

So it was announced. Netflix will be streaming on Nintendo Wii coming this Spring. After first appearing on the X Box, it then went to Playstation 3. And like the Playstation 3, Netflix users will get a free disc sent to them for their Wii as well. I recently got my Playstation 3 disc and have been using Netflix quite often on it. It works perfect, no problems, nothing. I love it.

As for the disc thing, its not big deal really. I mean its free. You dont pay any extra, so why complain? Besides rumor has it Playstation 3 is going to offer a subscription style service for their Playstation Network where users will no longer have to use the Netflix disc, as well as having a few other upgraded things that the free users wont have.

All in all, this is great news for Wii/Netflix users. I am in the middle of Sliders Season 1 on my Watch It Now list.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire Out?! Sony To Reboot Spiderman?! HOLY RETARDED!

Good god, so here is the low down. Spiderman 4 was planned for 2011. But was in some serious delays? Why you ask? Remember Spiderman 3? Remember how insanely shitty and stupid that movie was? Well Sony wanted to do another Spiderman movie just like that one. A retarded Spiderman movie where Peter Parker and Mary Jane have a baby and hijinks ensue, seriously. Well Sam Raimi went to Sony and said, hey, this is one the shady side of being a shitty movie, I dunno about this. And Sony said, hey, we don't care, it'll make tons of money. So the movie had stalled. And instead of listening to Sam Raimi and making another great movie like Spiderman 2, the studio told Sam Raimi to shove it, and then let Tobey go mainly because he woulda walked anyway if Raimi was not involved.

So how do they fix this problem? Sending Spiderman back to high school and rebooting the series! Yes!

Spiderman 1.5: Spidey Goes Back To School, comes out in 2012. If they do indeed go to reboot way and do another origin story, I highly doubt I will put down my $50 bucks to go see it, yeah, it costs me $50 bucks to see movies. 3 tickets for me the wife and our nephew, then popcorn, soda, and the giant pickle.

In short, fuck you Sony.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Justin Bieber is Gay and Makes Me Suicidal

So let's start the new year with a good old fashioned gay bash.  Well not that I have a problem with gays as long as they're not grabbing me, but what's worse, is a some little 13 year old with a stupid ass haircut, trying to be hip and cool like he's "down" with guys like Usher, and also trying to be a little pimp in his videos by pretending like he gets all the 13 year old ho's....when in reality he's obviously GAY.  Seriously, the 80's had some fruity stuff, the 90's had even more off the wall fruity colorful clothing and the like, but this is 2010, who the hell is listening and enjoying this shit?  Are teenage girls even into this?  How can anyone with a brain not look at this little fruit and see he wants it from men in the butt?  Music has had guys like Prince and David Bowie that have pushed the "glam" factor, and many times even pushed things to "fruity" level....but this?  This is too far.  I turn on the few channels that feature music videos, and i get this little jackoff on my screen way too much.  His first video that made me sick had him trying to talk ghetto with his "boy" Usher, which was bad enough.  This time, it's this fruit pimping hard to get some ass from some girl.  It's so bad, so unrealistic, it's just not tolerable watching this idiot try to play straight.  If you are brave enough, here is the video in question, but be warned, I felt suicidal thoughts while viewing this and you may too, because I think I would rather die than watch another Justin Bieber gay video.  Please Justin Bieber, retire, you are embarrassing yourself, and you are the biggest laughing stock in the history of EVER.