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Monday, June 29, 2009

Noteable DVD Releases: June 30th 2009

12 Rounds Helmed by Renny Harlin, this tense actioner stars World Wrestling Entertainment grappler John Cena as Det. Danny Fisher, a New Orleans cop who must save his kidnapped fiancée, Molly Porter (Ashley Scott), from the clutches of notorious crime lord Miles Jackson (Aidan Gillen). A battle of wits and wills ensues as Fisher is forced to life race around the Big Easy completing 12 near-impossible tasks and solving puzzles dreamed up by Jackson.

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li Undercover agent Chun Li (Kristin Kreuk) seeks justice and peace in this action-packed adaptation of the megahit video game franchise Street Fighter. Employing her signature high-kicking style, Chun Li is a force to be reckoned with. The cast includes Neal McDonough as M. Bison, Chris Klein as Nash, Michael Clarke Duncan as Balrog and Black Eyed Peas singer Taboo as Vega. Chun Li is known in gamer circles as "the First Lady of Fighting Games."

Sea Beast When a down-on-his-luck fishing boat captain (Corin Nemec) loses a crewmate on his last less-than-successful voyage, his fellow villagers join him in battling the savage sea creature that snatched the unfortunate sailor. The mutated anglerfish strikes again and again in this Sci-Fi Channel horror flick co-starring Miriam McDonald, Christie Laing, Gary Hudson and Brandon Jay McLaren. Paul Ziller directs.

The Education of Charlie Banks Years after Charlie (Jesse Eisenberg) fingers Mick (Jason Ritter) for a brutal assault, Mick shows up at Charlie's university and insinuates himself into college life. As Mick audits classes, sleeps with Charlie's dream girl and ponders how his life might have been different, Charlie anxiously wonders whether Mick knows he ratted him out. Limp Bizkit front man Fred Durst's directorial debut, this powerful drama co-stars Chris Marquette.

Transmorphers: Fall of Man In this prequel to Transmorphers -- a sci-fi thriller that borrows heavily from the plot of Transformers -- planet Earth is in peril thanks to a rogue army of alien robots, and it's up to a small group of humans to mount a crippling counterattack. Can Sheriff Hadley Ryan (Bruce Boxleitner), a doctor (Jennifer Rubin) and an ex-Marine (Shane Van Dyke) find the automatons' Achilles' heel before they succeed in annihilating civilization?

Eastbound and Down: Season 1 After blowing it as a major league baseball pitcher, Kenny Powers (Danny McBride) returns to his small Southern hometown, where he takes a gig as a substitute gym teacher at his old middle school. There, he gets to see his former high school sweetheart, April (Katy Mixon), who is engaged to Terrence (Andrew Daly), the dimwitted principal. This hilarious, Southern-fried series is produced by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay.

Entourage: Season 5 HBO's hit Hollywood-centered comedy is back for a fifth season, with movie star Vincent Chase (Adrian Grenier) once again at the helm of his considerable posse, including his friends from back home, his brother, his representatives and a cadre of beautiful women. This time around, Vince must pick himself up off the pavement and square his shoulders against Hollywood as he struggles to save face in Tinseltown after his biggest failure yet.

Parker Lewis Can't Lose: Season 1 Quick-witted teen Parker Lewis (Corin Nemec) is the kind of kid who seems like he can pull off anything … and he usually does in the first season of this offbeat comedy chronicling his daily high jinks at Santo Domingo High School. The series kicks off with a bang when Parker receives an unexpected kiss that sparks a fight with his friend Mikey (Billy Jayne) and he manages to tick off the school's resident bully (Abraham Benrubi).

Friday, June 26, 2009

Review: Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

I liked the first movie. I grew up like most guys my age, a huge fan of Transformers. So when negative review after negative review for this movie started pouring in, my heart sank. And I decided I would wait until DVD.

Then my friend talked me into going tonight, and I did. You wanna know EXACTLY what I did tonight? Ear muffs please...... Here is what I did tonight....

I went to the fucking MOVIES tonight.

Yeah. People that are bashing this film are pathetic douche bag internet NERDS. Yeah. NERDS. That have nothing to do but sit and bitch and bitch. Here is what I am getting at....

When the first movie came out, people sat and complained about the humans in the movie. Too many humans, and a story about humans, no one wants humans, no one wants a story about humans, more robots!

So what does Michael Bay do in the sequel? Says, "well alright, you wanted it, you got it!" And gave us 2 and a half hours of Autobots Vs. Decepticons beating the holy living HELL out of each other. As well as a STORY about the TRANSFORMERS. With the humans this time, even Shia and Megan Fox, seemingly playing supporting characters that are there to just tie things together to bring action scene after action scene together.

Here are main complaints I read that got my scared that I will address right now.

The jive talkin so called "RACIST" twin robots that are BARELY IN THE GOD DAMN MOVIE. They show up in little 2 minute spurts here and there say a couple lines and carry on. Big deal, get over it, Jar Jar Binks was 1000 times worse, so shut up. Maybe if you paid attention during the movie, some of this would make sense. See the Autobots now kinda cuss and talk jive and have human like lingo. Probably because for the past two years, and yes they say this in the movie, the past TWO YEARS the Autobots have been working with humans. Hanging out with them, on the job, what not. And more than likely after hearing the way humans talk for two straight years, some of that lingo kinda rubbed off on them.

The mom eating pot brownies. Hey guess what she bought them off some kid at Sams college, dunno if you know much about college, but that kinda shit goes on, and in this movie, it was a funny little 2 minute scene, shut up.

Devastator having testicals. Yeah, he does, get over it.

And finally, people saying that this takes all of the respect paid to the cartoons and throws it away? GIVE ME A FREAKIN BREAK. This movie is more closer to what the cartoon was like than the first movie. The biggest thing I saw missing from the first movie that was a huge part of the cartoon was the banter and relationship between Starscream and Megatron. The Starscream and Megatron in THIS movie are the characters from the cartoon. Bickering with each other, Megatron getting pissed, them going to fight together, getting their asses kicked and running away. JUST LIKE IN THE CARTOON.

This is a TRANSFORMERS movie. People were saying how the story was stupid and hard to follow. I had NO problem following the story, I understood exactly what was going on and happening. People talkin about how Sam goes to college then they kinda forget about all that, well yeah god damn DECEPTICON showed up and they kinda had to go on the run? And hey maybe stay during the credits and you would see the resolution to Sam and his college life. People saying the action was all blurred and you couldn't tell the robots apart. Well you must be blind and retarded, especially since the action in some scenes is in slow motion. I knew who was who and where they all were at all times. Probably because I PAID ATTENTION, instead of PICKING APART A MOVIE THAT IS ABOUT GIANT ROBOTS FIGHTING. God damn stupid internet nerds piss me off. Picking apart a freakin SCIENCE FICTION movie.

Anyways, in closing I will say this. This movie is better than the first one. Don't listen to these idiotic reviews. This is what is called a SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER ACTION MOVIE. You want a movie about the Autobots and Decepticons? This is a movie about just that, and them beating the living crap out of each other. Faces and arms ripped off. Heads blown off. This was the Transformers movie I had been waiting for. The only negatives about it, it coulda been a tad bit shorter, but really that is it. I am 100% satisfied with this movie.

9/10

Get some.

The Carl Winslow Story

You think you know Carl Winslow? You don't know shit. I have done extensive research on the one known as Carl Winslow. And this is his story.

Carl Winslow married Harriet in 1972 in Chicago. He was training to be a cop. And times were rough. After months of training and hard work, Carl finally made
it to being a street cop, making sure the mean streets of Chicago were kept clean. In 1974 his son Eddie was born. They had just moved into their new house and life was good, for awhile. Crime sky rocketed in Chicago, and Carl was worried that after now having a kid, and buying a house, that the crime would eventually get him. He had put away a lot of people in Chicago, and many were gunning for him. So he started taking out of state jobs, flying out on Mondays and returning home for the weekends. He got better benefits for his family, and much better pay taking a low key job as a jail guard in New York.

After New York went crazy, and dealing with monsters and ghosts and demons, Carl decided that dealing with the muggers and gangsters of Chicago may not be so bad after all. So, he decided he would quit his job with the NYPD and head back to Chicago with Harriet, who by this time was pregnant with Carls 2nd child, Laura. Things were going fine, Carl made good money in New York and everything seemed to be going smoothly for awhile. Laura was born, things were good. Until Harriet came to Carl with the news that she was pregnant AGAIN. With Carls 3rd child, Judy. Carl didn't know what to do. A 3rd child would put them in a hole. And wasn't sure what to do exactly. Then, one fateful night in Chicago. A call came through. Carl answered the call and responded. He was the first on the scene and saw a kid in the street with a gun. Carl got out and drew his gun, the kid pointed his gun first, but Carl was faster and gunned the kid down. Upon seeing it closer, Carl realized the kid never actually had a gun. Carl was destroyed. Chicago Police put him on leave. Carl was unemployed, and had 3 kids and a wife to take care of. His reputation was destroyed.

Carl got wind that the LAPD was in desperate need, he had a to
ugh decision to make. He had to do SOMETHING, and being a cop was what he was the very best at. So he sucked it up like a man, moved to LA, and changed his name to Al Powell. He was afraid that people would hear the name Carl Winslow and call him a child killer. He did a great job in LA. Became Sgt. Al Powell. One night, Carl was on patrol, boring night, stopped to grab some twinkes and got a call of suspicious activity going on at Nakatomi Plaza. Carl went to investigate, in what would turn out to be the wildest night of his entire life.

After going through quite a night of helping "Roy" deal with terrorists, it was when it was all said and done that Carl got quite the surprise. Carl looked up slowly, and saw "Roy" walking out with his wife. Roy, of course being, John McClane, a cop from New York, looked up and saw the cop he was on the radio with all night, was Carl. His old friend from the NYPD who John had not seen since Carl went back to Chicago. Both looked, recognized each other, and just started laughing. Carl went home that night, and thought long and hard about everything, about how he almost died twice that night, once being from McClane himself! And that terrorist that popped up almost got him if it wasn't for his quick reflex.

One day, he had flown back to Chicago, to visit, and his old boss from the Chicago Police called him up, and offered him his job back. After the fiasco in LA, Carl was recognized by the city, given a medal, and Chicago wanted him back bad. So, knowing he couldn't just quit the LAPD, he had to finish out his job in LA, while also working again for the Chicago Police.

Carl moved back, and one day, Eddie was in the kitchen, cooking when a fire broke out. Their dream home had burnt down. They had to move into an apartment while their house was being rebuilt. Harriet was constantly having to deal with their insane neighbors, Larry Appleton and Balki Bartokomous. One day, before their phone was hooked up, Carl used their phone because they were so close to cracking a huge case against a corrupt politician. Carl was not aware that Larry was a writer for the newspaper. Larry used the information he got from Carl to break the huge story, and almost blew the crackdown on the politician.

Carl realized that he could not trust that Larry, and word came in that their house was finished being remodeled. They moved back in just as school was starting. A Life calmed down though. No more terrorists. No more ghosts. His job was secure in Chicago after being promoted to Lt. Carl Winslow. But something much worse happened to Carl. A new neighbor. Named Steve Urkel. After destroying his house, getting them into a shoot out, turning Carl into Bruce Lee, Carl punching Urkels Dad in the face, losing Judy upstairs forever, and every other situation you could ever possibly imagine. Carl was faced with news that would make his life a living hell forever. His daughter Laura accepted Steve Urkels proposal for marriage. Carl, even though that damn kid drove him crazy, was finally happy in life. Carl had lived a life of ups and downs, of ghosts and terrorists, of lying neighbors, and holes in his roof 100 times. But in the end, Carl found peace.


Thursday, June 25, 2009

What The Stars Are Saying About Michael Jackson

Jonathan Landis - "I was lucky enough to know and work with Michael Jackson in his prime. Michael was an extraordinary talent and a truly great international star. He had a troubled and complicated life and despite his gifts, remains a tragic figure. My wife Deborah and I will always have great affection for him."

Eddie Van Halen - "I am really shocked; as I'm sure the world is, to hear the news. I had the pleasure of working with Michael on 'Beat It' back in '83 -- one of my fondest memories in my career.

Michael will be missed and may he rest in peace."


Madonna - "I can't stop crying over the sad news. I have always admired Michael Jackson. The world has lost one of the greats, but his music will live on forever!

My heart goes out to his three children and other members of his family. God bless."


Liz Taylor - "Dame Elizabeth Taylor is too devastated by the passing of her dear friend Michael Jackson to issue a statement at this time."

Corey Feldman - "I come to you today with great sadness, acknowledging the loss of the greatest entertainer in the history of mankind. For me he was more than that, he was my idol, he was a role model, he was someone to cry to when my childhood was unbearable, he was a brother, he was a dear friend."

"Unfortunately Michael and I had a falling out on Septenmber 10th 2001 and that broken friendship had never been repaired. I have stayed close with his family through the years. As a matter of fact my wife and I attended LaToyas birthday thrown by Janet 3 weeks ago on Susie's actual birthday. Michael was supposed to be there and we were supposed to try and talk things out. Michael didn't show because he was stuck in rehearsals for his upcoming tour.

I am trembling and shaking at the moment and it is very hard to type. I am filled with tremendous sadness and remorse. All I choose to remember from this point is the good times we shared and what an inspiration he was to me and the rest of the world. Nobody will ever be able to do what Michael Jackson has done in this industry, and he was so close to doing it all again. I am truly, and deeply sorry for all of the heartbroken fans and supporters worldwide. I think I am still in shock. So I must end this now.

As far as our concert on Saturday at Universal goes. I will not cancel this show it is a very positive first step in implementing a better standard for the touring world and music industry. As Michael taught me a long time ago......the show must go on. It will be a hard one to get through. But I will brave it and do the only thing I know how to do.........perform
."

Justin Timberlake - I can't find the words right now to express how deeply sadden [sic] I am by Michael's passing. We have lost a genius and a true ambassador of not only Pop music, but of all music. He has been an inspiration to multiple generations and I will always cherish the moments I shared with him on stage and all of the things I learned about music from him and the time we spent together. My heart goes out to his family and loved ones.

Goodbye Michael Jackson

This is pretty shocking news. And very tragic news. Michael Jackson, has died.

I have been a fan of Michael Jacksons music pretty much my entire life. I grew up listening to him, and watching that Moonwalker movie hundreds of times. I never agreed with all the strange personal decisions he made, but that didn't stop him from being a musical legend and putting out great albums.

After the whole child molestation stuff went down, I said that when the day comes that Michael Jackson dies, is when all that will finally be forgotten and everyone that cracked jokes and pointed and laughed, would turn around and start to talk about how much of a legend he is. Sadly that day has come.

Below I have pasted a blog I wrote on another site over two years ago. Hopefully the videos still work.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Im getting really sick of the Michael Jackson jokes. Why? Because it makes the entire world a hypocrite. How so you ask? Because from the fans, to the non fans, to the people that crack jokes, to the people that dont. EVERY person on the face of this planet has rocked out, danced to, sang along to at least one Michael Jackson song in their lives. For those that know his life story know hes screwed up in the head, look at his childhood. It no wonder hes a lil off, a lil crazy, but that does not change the fact that he made all of us tap our foot at least once. And for those that want proof of all this. Not a single one of you can deny this one either, for the fans still out there, and for the assholes cracking the lame jokes about the man. I give you the one word that will make you all think and say, ya know, hes right, Michael Jackson is bad ass. And that one word?

T H R I L L E R



No one in the world can deny that it is the most bad ass shit EVER.
And to further prove my point, I give you these.....



















Still a douche bag and still crackin Michael Jackson jokes? Then I DARE you, I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU. To find one person in this world that has not attempted to do this.....



He changed every single persons world. Grow up, and moonwalk your ass on outta here.

R.I.P. - Farrah Fawcett

Photobucket



Farrah Fawcett
Feb 2, 1947 - June 25, 2009


All of the semen spilt over the years before this most holy of images by the young and the old shall never be considered wasted. Good-bye, Farrah, you'll be missed.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Gramps! I said 10 Best Picture Nominees Not Just 5!

I dunno why I took a quote from Back To The Future 2 and turned it into the topic of this story, but who cares, it's awesome.

The Academy Of Motion Picture Arts And Sciences decided today that they will go back to the old ways pre 1944, and now the Best Picture category will have 10 nominees, instead of the usual 5. This woulda been awesome last year because Wall*E and Dark Knight would have had a chance at Best Picture.

Also a rumor is floating around that due to this change, the Best Animated Feature category might be removed entirely to allow animated movies a chance to snag Best Picture, like Wall*E should have got, that movie was 100 times better than Slumdog Millionaire.

Anyways, that's that. What do you think?

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Sirius/XM Application Now Available For iPhone and iPod Touch

So Sirius/XM officially launched an application to stream their radio to the iPhone and iPod Touch. Blackberry users like myself are only a tad bit sad. There are so many internet radio applications that it really isn't a big deal. Pandora, Slacker, iheartradio, all great applications for listening to what you want, when you want. But there is something missing from this application from Sirius that people have been waiting years for....

Howard Stern.

Word has it that Howard Stern himself demanded to be paid more money and get a percentage of what was made off sales of the application. And since Sirius is seeing this application as something to help the company rebound and grow, they denied Stern a percentage, and just left his channels off of the application. This might be a huge blow to this application. I listen to Stern every morning and when I heard about this application coming out I almost started looking into switching from my Blackberry to an iPhone. Then heard about no Stern.

However, you still can get Stern on your phones, and Sirius for that matter, it's just a slight pain in the ass to do. If you're interested in finding out how to get Stern and Sirius for free on ANY phone. Head on over here and do some research and reading. I had it and it worked great, it's just a pain to set up and get goin so I stopped using it.

Photo Of Perez Hilton Being Punched In The Face

How do you justify calling someone a faggot? By making the following face in the middle of a fight...

Yeah. Just.... Yeah.....

Monday, June 22, 2009

Pixar Is Awesome And Proves Why. Grants A Dying Girls Wish.

You probably haven't heard about this awesome bit of news. Probably because every news site appears to only care about Perez Hilton dropping the F bomb and getting punched in the head, yes, sadly, in our pathetic media world, that is the top news story of the day.

So here is news that will warm your heart. News that SHOULD be the top news story of the day.

We all know that Disney/Pixar freakin rules. And now they went one step beyond. Colby Curtin, a 10 year old girl, had a rare form of cancer. And had pretty much no chance of survival. And her main wish was to see the movie Up. A simple wish. She held out so she could go see it in the theaters, but sadly was so sick and broken down by the time the movie came out, that going to the theaters to see the movie was impossible. Then there was a knock at her door...

A family member had made frantic calls to Pixar, and actually got in touch with someone there. The next thing they knew, a Pixar employee was knocking on the door of their house. In one hand, a DVD copy of Up. In the other hand a huge bag full of Up merchandise and very rare memorabilia. The employee screened the movie in the home for the daughter, who at that point, could only hear the movie, while her mother gave her the play by play. Seven hours after the showing of the movie, Colby died.

You didn't hear of this story from Pixar directly, because they declined to comment to any media on it, or reveal the name of the employee. Because that is the kind of people they are. The kind of people news and media should pay attention to. Not some idiot blogger getting punched in the head. But that is the world we live in, where Jon and Kate getting a divorce makes headlines. While real heroes and people that makes a difference in the world are all but ignored.

Todays Music Blows. Nirvana Killed The Fun.

All I heard about it how Nirvana came along and changed music forever. How they came on the scene and destroyed hair bands and metal. How Kurt Cobain was a legend and awesome. Well here is a news flash kids, Nirvana wasn't the first grunge band, they were just the first one to take off and hit it big, therefore meaning they didn't really change anything, they just did something other bands were starting to do.

People go on and on about the Seattle Grunge scene, well guess what, Nirvana was formed in 1987, in Aberdeen, Washington. 3 years earlier, Soundgarden was formed, in SEATTLE WASHINGTON. So yeah, already, Nirvana was 3 years late to the party.

Anyways, the real point of this is going back to what I first mentioned, how people constantly state how Nirvana killed hair bands and all that hooplah. Well to that I gotta say pick up your local paper and check out concerts headed your way. Or just look around online. You will see more hair bands and metal bands touring major venues while there are now grunge bands, anywhere, to be found. Grunge died. Hair bands live on. As does Metal. Grunge is the same thing as the bullshit we are dealing with today. Emo. And all these other shitty rock bands.

Music today is boring. No passion, no fun, nothing. Remember back when band members would get arrested and how awesome and fun it would be when they would talk about it and not just care? That was rock n roll. Today someone is arrested and they're all sorry about it and sad and depressed. Remember when bands would glue hotel furniture to ceilings and ride motorcycles down hallways? Yeah, no one does that today. Todays bands are boring. And useless. On top of that, their music sucks. I mean Axl Rose cancelled shows, stormed off stages, no showed concerts, all kinds of shit, but hey, that was rock n roll. Today no one does that. There is nothing exciting in music today. Just boredom and shitty bands that no one will remember in 5 years.

Then we got people like Kid Rock, and Lars Ulrich bitching and moaning about people stealing music. If we went back to the 60s, and Jimi Hendrix, and Jim Morrison found out that people were stealing their music, they wouldn't give a shit. You know why? They are what is missing from music today. Artists who care about nothing but their music, and people hearing their music. That's it. Today it is all about fame and fortune. Musical talent comes last. Back then musicians only cared about their music being heard, and did it because they loved it. Today it's a group of guys put together because they seem like they would be good together and are products of record labels.

In the end, Nirvana didn't kill off bands, or kill off types of music, instead they killed the fun. Thanks for nothing Nirvana. Soundgarden, Alice In Chains, and Pearl Jam were all much better bands anyways.

Black People Can Say The N Word. Can Gays Now Use The F Word?

So Perez Hilton called William of the Black Eyed Peas a "faggot". And, yes, I know that he goes by the name Will.I.Am. But that in itself is gay.

My only head scratcher is, how can someone who is clearly flaming, call someone else a faggot? That makes no sense. So my guess is gays want to do with the F word what blacks did with the N word in which only THEY can use it and us normal people can't. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH I CALLED EVERYONE BUY GAYS AND BLACKS NORMAL.

Shut up. I don't care. This is a retarded topic. And I'm really only writing because I'm bored and nothing is happening today and this will bring some hits since everyone is searching for news on this story.

Anyways, Perez Hilton got the shit kicked out of him till his eyes fell out or some shit, I don't really know. I don't care to really look into anymore details on this story because its retarded and if you give a damn about this actual story then you yourself are retarded.

Perez Hilton sucks, get over it, stop watching TMZ. Devon is in love with Perez Hilton.

Noteable DVD Releases: June 23rd 2009

I'll check out this Simon Says movie, Crispin Glover playing twin brothers killing kids with a pick axe? I'm there.

Confessions of a Shopaholic With dreams of writing for a top fashion magazine, shopping addict Rebecca (Isla Fisher) begins working for a financial magazine released by the same publisher. As her career skyrockets, Rebecca struggles to pay off overwhelming bills and manage her love life. Teetering on the brink of bankruptcy, Rebecca must start reevaluating her priorities. Joan Cusack, John Goodman and Krysten Ritter co-star.

Table for Three When an unexpected breakup leaves him newly single and lonely, Scott Teller (Brandon Routh) invites perfect couple Ryan (Jesse Bradford) and Mary (Sophia Bush) to share his apartment. Big mistake. Before long, Scott's quiet life is consumed by chaos when Ryan and Mary's true colors are revealed, and the perfect couple transform into the roommates from hell. Johnny Galecki ("Big Bang Theory") and Jennifer Morrison ("House M.D.") also star.

My Dinner with Andre A bold experiment in film narrative that paid off in critical raves and cult status, Louis Malle's drama consists almost entirely of the dinner conversation of two real-life friends. More or less playing themselves, Andre Gregory and Wallace Shawn wrote their own dialogue, which ranges in subject from the New York theater world to rain forests, and in tone from hilarious to heartbreaking.

Simon Says When five college pals head into the wilderness for a little rest and relaxation, they run headlong into Simon and Stanley (both played by Crispin Glover), backwoods twin brothers with a fondness for booby traps rigged with flying pickaxes. Now, the teens must claw their way out of the woods without springing one of the brothers' ingeniously lethal snares. William Dear directs this gleefully gore-drenched film; Blake Lively co-stars.

Inkheart Unbeknownst to his 12-year-old daughter Meggie (Eliza Bennett), bookbinder Mo "Silvertongue" Folchart (Brendan Fraser) has a secret ability to bring characters to life by reading their stories out loud. But when the wicked Capricorn (Andy Serkis) comes after her father, Meggie must rescue him. Based on the best-selling children's novel by Cornelia Funke, this enchanting fantasy co-stars Paul Bettany, Jim Broadbent and Helen Mirren.

The Pink Panther 2 Everybody's favorite blundering detective, Inspector Jacques Clouseau (Steve Martin), is back in another antic-filled caper. This time, Clouseau joins a team of equally incompetent detectives to foil a thief from heisting historical artifacts. But is this bumbling crew able to keep pace with their nimble quarry? Directed by Harald Zwart, the star-studded sequel also features Jean Reno, Emily Mortimer, Andy Garcia, Alfred Molina and John Cleese.

Rob Zombies Halloween 2 Trailer

This will be the last chance I give to Rob Zombie. So far he has made 3 feature films, all of which I have been pretty unimpressed with. House Of 1000 Corpses was just a remake of Texas Chainsaw. The Devils Rejects was just a remake of Natural Born Killers with the Thelma And Louise ending. And then Halloween, well, blegh.

But, I am a huge fan of one Michael Myers. So I'll be at the theaters for this no matter what, and I must say after watching this trailer, it looks kinda promising. I just wish Rob Zombie would shut the hell up with his "THIS IS 100% MY VISION" bullshit. Sorry dude but this is your Halloween 2 with shit goin down in a hospital, and the original Halloween 2 had, shit goin down in a hospital, that is not 100% your vision. And speaking of visions, apparently Laurie Strode is now having visions and horrible things in this movie, yeah, cause, that totally didn't happen in Halloween 5. Come the fuck on Rob.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Olivia Munn Is NOT Nude In Playboy! Only One Pic In The Magazine?!

I have been a Playboy subscriber for a couple years now. I'd say in those couple years, I've really only been excited twice about someone appearing, one I don't even remember, the other was Maria from the WWE, which was kinda, disappointing.

Well the last page of issues usually give you a little tease about what the next issue has in store. And last month, one name caught my eye.... OLIVIA MUNN. Yeah, enough was said, the countdown began.... and today, the countdown reached the zero hour.

I walked to my mailbox. Ripped it open and threw it into the street like a caveman, ripped that plastic wrapper off the magazine, and there she was. Olivia Munn. In a teeny weeny bikini, emerging from a swimming pool. I was ready. I bolted inside my house like a kid who just discovered their dads porn stash, tore through the pages to find.....

1 picture.

1, god damn picture.

1 picture, and she's not even nude.

1 picture, and then it says... see more at the playboy website....

So, ok, I go to www.playboy.com/oliviamunn, where it tells me to go, and....

It asks me to enter in my email address and subscribe to receive emails from playboy.com? WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MADNESS?!?!? Fine, what the hell ever, submit email address to access 10 of her Playboy pictures, ok, I put in an old email address I never use, click submit and.....

I get the following message...

"The Responsys Interact® on-demand marketing platform is currently undergoing scheduled maintenance. This maintenance is being carried out from Saturday, June 20 4:00PM (PDT) to Saturday, June 20 10:00PM (PDT) . Please try your request later. "

Um... really? So let me get this right. Someone goes to the store after hearing she is in the magazine, buys it, goes home, opens it up, and finds 1 picture with a message saying TO SEE THE REST GO TO A WEBSITE. What the hell kinda crap is that?! Then you say fine, go to the site, enter in info and the sites down?! Who knows what other hoops there are to jump through after you sign up.

What, the hell, ever. I do something that Playboy is obviously retarded about. I go to google. And I type in, Olivia Munn Playboy Pics. Jackpot. There they are. Done deal... but wait a minute...

She's not even nude?!?!! She is just teasing the nudity?! What in the hell!??!?!?!!?!?

Now, don't get me wrong, she looks fantastic and these are awesome pics, but where is the nudity? Playboy is known for getting the huge stars and hot celebs to come in and show the goods.

Ugh, whatever. There have been rumors floating around that Playboy is going down in huge numbers with their sales. To the point that their monthly issues might come down to bi-monthly issues. Gee... I wonder why? Maybe deliver the goods and people will actually buy the magazine. So yeah, word of advice to everyone wanting to see these pics, don't go get the magazine. Save your money, go here instead. I won't post all of them here because well.... Playboy goes kinda crazy about sites posting their pics. So I'll just post this one that I currently have as my desktop wallpaper. Enjoy.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Kristen Bell, In A Bikni....Wearing Nerd Glasses?!?

So, I have long had a thing for Lisa Loeb, mainly it's the glasses. Hot chicks in thick rimmed glass are amazing. Yep, damn straight. Kristen Bell is pretty damn hot regardless of what some guys say who don't like girls in general. And there was some awesome pics of her in a bikini I was checkin out, and then came across her in thick rimmed glasses in said bikini?!!?!?


If you're wondering who she's talking to, it's that one dude from Punk'd. Not Ashton Kutcher, that other guy with zero talent, and career. I dunno why she's talkin to that dude, I have more talent in my big toe than that guy has entirely.

Morgan Webb Is Hot.

Yeah. We've been given Olivia Munn some love lately but I feel bad for leaving out Morgan Webb, so here ya go.



Thursday, June 18, 2009

This Horse Ain't Dead Yet! Indy 5 On The Way.........ugh

God damn Indian Jones And The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was the biggest pile of retarded african dog shit I have ever seen. I LOVE the first three films, and was so damn excited for the 4th, then I saw it and cried my eyes out. I refused to buy it and add it next to the other three movies, I tried hard to block it from my memory....

Then Shia had to open his big fat stupid mouth to reveal that plans were underway for Indy 5 to be made. And today, Frank Marshall chimed in that they are just tossin around ideas and will begin workin on a script.

Ugh, why? Why does George Lucas continue to ruin my god damn fucking life?! WHY DAMNIT!?

Click on the O-Face of George Lucas, to see how I felt... on that horrible day.....

Woody Harrelson + Zombies = Ticket Sold! Zombieland Trailer!

I've been a huge Woody Harrelson fan since his Cheers days.

I've been a huge zombie fan since, well since I was a little kid and first saw Night Of The Living Dead.

And now, the both come together in what appears to be a very awesome movie. I'm just hopin it's rated R. I will cry a river of salty tears if this comes out with a PG-13.

Click here to see the trailer.

Olivia Munn In Iron Man 2?!

Hear that sound? It's the sound of fanboys, geeks, and nerds all around growing giant boners. I dunno what exactly the sound would be like, whatever, anyways...

For awhile now, fellow writer Johnny and myself have debated over who is the hotter of the two main G4 girls. Munn Vs. Webb. I am a Morgan Webb fan myself, but that doesn't mean I'm saying Munn isn't hot, just that between the two, I would go for Webb, but if Webb wasn't involved, I would make Munn mine, forever and ever. Even though there is some other chick on G4 who I find hotter than both but sadly, I don't know that chicks name, shes blonde, and really damn cute.

Anyways yeah, title says it all, Iron Man is awesome, Olivia Munn is awesome, and now Favs has combined them both into one big pile of awesome. I just hope that after Iron Man 2 Jon Favreau goes and does another low budget buddy comedy with Vince Vaughn again, cause Swingers is a freakin classic and Made was god damn hilarious.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Chastity Bono Already A Man?! Leading A Double Life?!

The world has been rocked to its very core. Rumors are swirling, and mind you, I said RUMORS, that Chastity Bono has in fact been living a double life as a man. And after living with this secret for a long time, decided to start spreading news that she was getting a sex change so she could merge her double lifestyles together in one to ease the stress in her life. This is a huge rumor right now, but there are pictures that have surfaced, one of Chastity Bono, and then the other picture was taken when she was leading her other life as a man already, going under the name, Devon Bono?!?!

Chastity Bono
Devon Bono?!


This also leads us to believe that DEVONBONO.COM is on the way.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Noteable DVD Releases: June 16th 2009

Wow, what a load of nothing really this week. Might snag the Stooges DVDs only because, I have the previous volumes. Wait wtf BLOOD FART LAKE?!

The Three Stooges Collection: Vol. 6: 1949-1951 Delight in the zany misadventures of hilarious knuckleheads Larry, Moe and Shemp as they square off against a town full of outlaws, fall in love with models who look just like them, aggravate a skilled knife thrower and offend countless strangers. In this timeless collection of short films, the Three Stooges continually demonstrate their flawless comic timing, delivery and improvisational abilities.

Robbin' in Da Hood When he discovers that his health insurance won't cover the steep medical expenses for his seriously ill daughter, otherwise law-abiding Xavier and his bumbling friends scheme to raise the cash by robbing a neighborhood drug dealer. Little do they know that another crew of would-be crooks also plans to rob the same dealer on the same day. Tyrone Burton, Countrified Wedman, Danny Strong and Cocoa Brown star in this caper comedy.

Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail When a routine speeding incident turns into a full-blown highway "situation," Madea (Tyler Perry) mouths off to a cop and lands herself in jail, where she's suddenly trapped behind bars with more motherly instinct than she knows what to do with. But Madea's nurturing side comes in handy when she crosses paths with a recovering drug addict turned prostitute (Keisha Knight Pulliam) who needs all the love she can get.

Friday the 13th Jared Padalecki, Danielle Panabaker and Aaron Yoo headline director Marcus Nispel's chilling remake of the classic 1980s slasher-thriller that spawned a legendary horror franchise. Ignoring the warnings of the locals, a group of teenage camp counselors takes on the job of reopening Camp Crystal Lake -- on Friday the 13th no less, and raise the ire of Jason Voorhees (Derek Mears), a masked, homicidal maniac.

Terror at Blood Fart Lake When a clutch of college pals retreats to an isolated cabin for a rowdy weekend of debauchery and carnal pleasures, a madman dons his creepy scarecrow costume and begins to prey upon the unsuspecting youths in unusually creative ways. It's like summer camp, but with death! Can any of the kids escape the shame of being slain at a place called Blood Fart Lake? Nicola Fiore and Josh Suire star in this outrageous lampoon of classic slasher flicks.

The Cell 2 Maya Castaneda (Tessie Santiago) is an investigator with psychic abilities -- a power which she gained during a yearlong coma, the result of her having been victimized by a notorious serial killer known as the Cusp. Now the killer is back in action, and Maya must summon her psychic talents to delve into the dark mind of this notorious maniac, in the hopes of saving his next victim -- before time runs out.

Kiss: Over the Top A revealing look into the trademark styles, outrageous antics and immense popularity of legendary rock group Kiss, this unauthorized documentary features rare archival footage and interviews with original band members Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley. By playing catchy arena anthems such as "Rock and Roll All Nite" and power ballads like "Beth," Kiss enjoyed enduring success entertaining its legions of adoring fans around the world.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Final Destination... In The Really Real World?!

This is just, a tad bit creepy....

Johanna Ganthalar was supposed to be on the Air France flight which plunged into the Atlantic ocean and killed all 228 people on board. But due to a bit of luck, she missed that flight and dodged certain death.

Until today, when she was driving down the road and swerved into an on coming truck, killing her instantly, and severly injuring her husband.

Thats just, wow.

Cruise And Abrams Back For Mission Impossible 4!

This is something I can get behind. I think I am one of the few people that are not on this OMG I HATE TOM CRUISE wagon. The dudes awesome, hes made some of my favorite movies. Top Gun, Magnolia, Rain Man, Cocktail, Risky Business, Color Of Money, INterview With A Vampire, Jerry Maguire, and if you're still on a Tom Cruise hatin ride, go out and watch the movie Collateral, dude rules in it.

Anyways, JJ Abrams produced and directed the third MI movie, which to me was the best one out of them all. The first movie was ho hum alright I guess, the second movie just sucked big time, and then the third movie came along and it was all kinds of great.

As of now, JJ has yet to commit to the directors chair, but I have a feeling he might hop into it before going back to Star Trek, we shall see, either way, I am pleased to see another MI movie on the way.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Never Too Late Review: The Doors

I've been a moderate listener of The Doors. I have a couple of their big hits on my iPod, but that's about as far as my fandom went. My sister on the other hand, has a damn Jim Morrison altar in her house, she worships The Doors. So after almost 20 years since the movies release, I decided to rent the Blu Ray of it, and give it a try, and let's just say...

My life has been changed forever.

It has the usual random strange Oliver Stone stuff thrown in and mixed about. But damn is it awesome. Val Kilmer becomes Jim Morrison in that movie. Sadly though, after seeing the movie and doing a bit of research, the movie really only stays true to certain events, but when it comes to the characters, it was way off. The main thing I read was, Jim wasn't exactly quite the sociopath as he was displayed as being in the film.

It does a pretty good job that at telling the story of their music, which is what fans wanted to see. How the songs came about, and where they came from. Which is what has really changed things forever for me. See immediatley after watching this movie, I hopped in my car, and drove to my sisters house, and raided her collection. I went from having a couple Doors songs on my ipod, to having EVERY Doors song on my ipod, well almost all. The only songs that I left off were ones that were done after Morrisons death in 1971, which still to this day, remains a mystery of exactly how he died.

Ever since then, I have not stopped listening, it has become an exprience for me every time I pop in the music of The Doors. I would highly recommend this movie to anyone that is seeking out some new GOOD music to listen to. If you're into American Idol and all that bullshit, you probably shouldn't bother. This was done back when music was done for the love of music, back when artists didn't give a shit about fame or glamour or money. Back when they made music, just for the love of gettin together and jammin. It is a fantastic movie, about one of the greatest bands of all time, and what is now, my favorite band. The Doors.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Macho Man DVD Release Causes Slim Jim Plant To Explode?!

No, it didn't really. But this has to be the most insane thing to ever happen in the world.

On the same day that WWE releases The Macho Man Randy Savage Ultimate Collection 3 disk DVD set, a Slim Jim plant in North Carolina explodes.

Nobody was killed in the explosion, a few injuries but nothing major.

There really is nothing more to add to this story, it's just that awesome. I like to think that they were all snapping into a Slim Jim OOOOOOOOH YEAAAAAAAA and the force of the snappings of the Jims is what caused the explosion.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Zack Morris On Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Zack Morris himself arrives on Jimmy Fallon?!



Wow, a Class Reunion, from the looks of things, Lisa and Screech are the only ones not confirmed for it.

I can't believe Kelly left Zack AGAIN for Jeff, ugh. Made Zack go all depressed and runnin to hang out with Johnny Dakota?! Did Slater get pissed and go hang out with Ox?

Anyways, I am officially a fan of Jimmy Fallon, that had to be one of the greatest moments in Late Night HISTORY.

Noteable DVD Releases: 6-9-09

I will be buying The Shield Season 7 and WWE Macho Madness. OOOOOOOOOH YEAH DIG IT!

The Shield: Season 7
Michael Chiklis ("The Commish") reprises his role as conflicted Strike Team leader Detective Vic Mackey in the seventh and final season of this Emmy-winning FX drama, following the exploits of an experimental Los Angeles police division that works out of a converted church. Although producers were notoriously tight-lipped about how the series would conclude, they were clear on one point: that Mackey's story would come to an end.

WWE Macho Madness: The Randy Savage Ultimate Collection Chronicling the glory days of "Macho Man" Randy Savage, this career-spanning collection features the superstar grappler's biggest bouts vs. Hulk Hogan, Tito Santana, Ricky Steamboat, Honky Tonk Man and André the Giant, among others. Renowned for his trademark sunglasses and bandanna, Savage established himself as one of the sport's top competitors by dominating World Wrestling Entertainment and World Championship Wrestling.

Fired Up! After maxing out their starring roles on the high school football team, Shawn (Nicholas D'Agosto) and Nick (Eric Christian Olsen) ditch summer training camp and head into brave new territory: volunteering to help the cheerleading squad reach new heights. The team's pretty captain (Sarah Roemer) doesn't buy the guys' act for a second. But even she has to admit her sorry squad could use two extra sets of hands.

Strike Realizing that his chances of becoming a movie star are increasingly slim, aspiring actor Ross Vegas (Ross Patterson) turns his focus to bowling, and before long he's anointed as the PBA's newest rising star. Tommy Reid directs this quirky, low-budget comedy that also stars Tara Reid as Ross's girlfriend, Lindsay, Clayne Crawford as his wisecracking best friend, Mike, and Vinnie Jones (Snatch) as bowling tour bad boy Roddy.

Crossing Over Boasting an all-star cast that includes Harrison Ford and Sean Penn, director Wayne Kramer's thoughtful drama weaves several stories together to create an emotionally charged examination of immigration in Los Angeles. Ashley Judd and Ray Liotta co-star in the powerful ensemble film, which provides a harrowing look at border crossing, document fraud, asylum seekers, naturalization, counterterrorism and the clash of cultures in America.

Gran Torino Crusty, inflexible Korean War veteran Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood) must confront his Hmong immigrant neighbors – and his own long-held prejudices – when the family's teen son, Thao, tries to steal Walt's beloved 1972 Gran Torino. Walt soon assumes the unlikely role of guardian angel to young Tao and his sister, who are vulnerable to disturbing gang influences in this intimate drama from 78-year-old director Eastwood.

The International Interpol agent Louis Salinger (Clive Owen) and New York Assistant District Attorney Eleanor Whitman (Naomi Watts) team up to expose a global financial institution's money laundering, arms dealing and other illegal rackets. But as the pair race from New York to Milan and beyond to pursue their case, they soon discover that the ruthless bank will stop at nothing to continue its profitable activities. Tom Tykwer directs this tense thriller.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

J.U.A.N. Headbanging

When I think of headbanging, Poison isn't exactly the first band that comes to mind. you could also say that this was also a case of a clothesline national TV that had nothing to do with the WWE and wasn't choreographed like professional wrestling.

J.U.A.N. C.R.E.A.M.

Weekend JUAN. I was just feeling like this for some reason:

A GOOD Remake?!? James Cameron On Board Heavy Metal Redo!!

Wow.

It appears thins are gonna be goin down like this.

The awesome animated movie Heavy Metal is being remade.

David Fincher is on board with James Cameron as Executive Producers.

You may remember the original movie having different stories/segments, so who will be in charge of the new stories and segments?

Gore Verbinski will take control of one of the segments.

Zack Snyder will do his own segment.

David Fincher will do a segment.

And JAMES CAMERON will be directing a segment.

Wow, fucking wow. Fincher, Cameron, Verbinski, and Snyder.

Ready for a tad bit more? Mark Osborne (Kung fu Panda) will bring along Jack Black, and HOPEFULLY Kyle Gass to do a bit for the movie as well. If Kyle Gass isn't involved, then this will take on some heavy FAIL points, but I am 99.9% sure that The D will appear in the Heavy Metal remake.

Now lets just hope the soundtrack will kick ass and not be full of todays current artists....

Thursday, June 4, 2009

J.U.A.N. What Kind of Gay Idiot Would Hide His Cell Phone Down His Pants?



I remember reading a stupid story about an idiot teenager who tried to hide her cell phone in her pants. The whole thing was pretty stupid and just a sign of how far down the toilet our society has gone. This little juvenile delinquent wouldn't stop texting in class. When her teacher asked for the phone she hid it..down her pants. This girl ended up getting arrested and I guess strip searched. She probably got whatever she deserved.

Then some idiot bloggers and "tech writers" made all these lame stories about how this girl hid her cell phone in her butt. But I think that was all made it. She just sliped it down her jeans most likely.

Anyway, I have a lot of different blog feeds in my reader. I susbcribe to a lot of tech stuff. This one site I check out to read about the latest cell phones and stuff.

There is something seriously wrong with this guy. And yes, I believe it is a guy. Not only was he apparently intrigued by this teenager who supposedly hid her cell phone down her pants, he went and wrote a whole article about how if he wanted to shove a cell phone down his pants, excatly which phones he would pick. Apparently he really researched it all, measured ? the phones, who knows maybe he tried them out. WTF Man.

Look at this sick shit: The 9 Best Cell Phones to Smuggle

What the hell is wrong with this sick queer? I think I am going to unsubscribe from his site. I don't want to read that sick crap.

The Final Destination Trailer

Looks surprisingly decent. And in 3D!

The Final Destination trailer in HD

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

J.U.A.N. Poll: Morgan Webb vs. Olivia Munn...Who's Hotter?

With the E3 bonanza currently going on, video games are the big business of the week. Of course G4 is the channel to watch for all the video game coverage, and video game coverage on G4 = game nerds drooling over Olivia Munn and Morgan Webb. In a recent Jerk meeting with some of our staff members, a debate arose over the level of hotness of Morgan Webb vs. that of Olivia Munn. The debate is split down the middle (yeah) so we've decided to bring the debate right here to the Jerk nation, and you can help decide who is the hotter G4 host, Attack of the Show's Olivia Munn, or X Play's Morgan Webb. Personally, I think they're both pretty hot, but Olivia Munn blows it out of the water. Morgan is a little too pasty for my taste, looks like she doesn't see much sun. Olivia on the other hand has the dark beauty thing going on, and doesn't really look Asian, but IS Asian of some sort, so i guess that makes her extra exotic. So here it is, Jerks speak out, and here is the question, give your answers. I've provided just a couple of pics, because if you've ever watched G4, you know who these women are.

pollcode.com free polls
Who is Hotter...Morgan Webb or Olivia Munn?
Morgan Webb Olivia Munn

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

LIVE Steve Wiebe Donkey Kong Record Attempt!

If you are awesome, then you know of the great battle shown in the documentary King Of Kong. The douche Billy Mitchell Vs. The Awesome Steve Wiebe.

Well as of this very second, Billy Mitchell holds the world record. But LIVE AT E3 Steve Wiebe is attempting to regain the title of CHAMPION. Watch it LIVE! RIGHT NOW!

Watch live video from G4TV - Steve Wiebe Donkey Kong Cam on Justin.tv

Monday, June 1, 2009

Up and Drag Me To Hell Thoughts

Not gonna write out a huge review on these, because I'm lazy, so I figured I would basically just pass along my thoughts.

First up, Drag Me To Hell. To put it simply, and in the words of Michael Cole, this was VINTAGE SAM RAIMI. He went into the attic and brought out the Evil Dead Box'O Tricks and let them all out. It was fantastic good horror popcorn fun, like only Sam could bring. Horror these days is either over the top gore and killings to characters we don't give a damn about, or a remake. This was neither, it was an original idea, with an actual PLOT and CHARACTERS, two things missing from todays horror movies. 10/10.

After that, I said hell no to paying another 30 bucks for us to go to get into Up so we went old school and movie hopped. And as usual, Pixar did not let me down. But got damn, they went pretty deep with this movie, most kids might cry their eyes out at the first 10 minutes of the movie, and I'm pretty sure this is the first Pixar movie I've seen that has actual BLOOD in it. Yes, BLOOD, a character is shown bleeding, and it's kinda like, wow, they went there. Messed me up for a bit. But damnit all this was a great movie, right up there with Wall-E. 10/10.

It felt good going to the movies and seeing 2 fantastic movies. It will be hard for something to top Up this year though, but we have a long way to go and many great movies left comin out. But for some strange reason, after the awesomeness of Star Trek, Up, and Drag Me To Hell, it feels like the Summer movie season is already over? I think Up will remain tops at the Box Office for the next couple weeks.

Noteable DVD Releases: June 2nd 2009

Not much of anything, for me anyways. Might check out Defiance.

Direct Contact Imprisoned in Eastern Europe, former Special Forces agent Mike Riggins (Dolph Lundgren) jumps at the chance when he's offered his freedom in exchange for tracking down American Ana Gale (Gina May), who's been abducted by a brutal underground leader. But after rescuing Gale, he discovers he's been used to locate her for nefarious purposes. Now he must get Gale to the U.S. Embassy while fighting off a host of bad guys in this thrilling action flick.

Silent Venom On a remote Pacific island, military tensions derail Dr. Andrea Swanson's (Krista Allen) research on a mutant snake species. She takes refuge on Commander O'Neill's (Luke Perry) Taiwan-bound submarine, unaware that her assistant has smuggled some of the snakes on board. When a Chinese torpedo rocks the sub, the serpents are unleashed to hunt the scientists and the crew. Tom Berenger co-stars in this depth-charged chiller.

Catlow Yul Brynner stars as an outlaw named Catlow who puts his friendship with a law-abiding marshal (Richard Crenna) to the test when he launches a plot to steal a shipment of Mexican gold from Confederate soldiers. All the while, he's pursued by a hired killer (Leonard Nimoy) who's dead serious about bringing him down. Sam Wanamaker directs this 1970s Western based on Louis L'Amour's novel of the same name.

Spring Breakdown Desperate to spice up their boring lives, three thirtysomething women (Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch and Parker Posey) set off for a vacation on a tropical island known for its raucous Spring Break parties. But instead of recapturing their youth, they wind up mothering a senator's shy daughter (Amber Tamblyn). As they help the awkward girl grow more comfortable in her own skin, they, too, learn to embrace aging with wit, joy and grace.

Defiance Daniel Craig stars as Tuvia Bielski, one of four Jewish brothers who escape from Poland into the forests of Belarus during World War II to lead a band of resistance fighters and create a safe haven for Jewish refugees. The real-life sanctuary established by the Bielski brothers saved more than 1,000 Jews from persecution and death. Edward Zwick directs this moving historical drama that also stars Liev Schreiber, Jamie Bell and George MacKay.

Revolutionary Road Based on the novel by Richard Yates and set in the mid-1950s, this story helmed by Sam Mendes follows the Wheelers (Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslett, in a Golden Globe-winning role), a young couple in suburban Connecticut who tries desperately to confront the problems in their relationship while raising two children. Despite their best intentions, the couple's intense arguments send them into a downward spiral. Michael Shannon co-stars in an Oscar-nominated role.

Anacondas: Trail of Blood A vicious anaconda escapes into the remote mountains after being subjected to a new anti-cancer serum, and now Dr. Amanda Haze (Crystal Allen) and others must brave the wilderness to kill the fearsome beast. But no sooner do they cut the snake in half than it regenerates into two bloodthirsty serpents, thanks to the experimental drug. Don E. FauntLeRoy directs this creepy-crawly sequel to Anaconda 3: The Offspring. John Rhys-Davies costars.

He's Just Not That Into You Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore and Scarlett Johansson lead an all-star cast in this adaptation of the bestseller that follows an ensemble of characters dealing with the pitfalls of love and human interaction. Set in Baltimore, director Ken Kwapis's film moves swiftly between a host of storylines and characters brought to life by a stellar lineup that includes Jennifer Connelly, Ben Affleck, Ginnifer Goodwin and Justin Long.

Thrilla in Manila In the Philippines on Oct. 1, 1975, boxers and onetime friends Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier had their third and final showdown, which is at the center of this spirited documentary. Exploring both this notorious rivalry and the multifaceted racial politics of the era, director John Dower uses extensive archival footage and interviews with biographers and journalists to tell the story from Frazier's corner of the ring.

Reaper: Season 2 With a creative team that includes filmmaker Kevin Smith and the producers of "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," this offbeat supernatural series follows Sam Oliver (Bret Harrison), a young man forced into service as a bounty hunter for the devil (Ray Wise). Sam and his co-workers spend each episode rounding up escaped souls and returning them to hell. Tyler Labine, Missy Peregrym, Rick Gonzalez and Valarie Rae Miller co-star.

Weeds: Season 4 Golden Globe winner Mary-Louise Parker returns for another smoke-filled season of Showtime's critically acclaimed cable series as suburban California widow Nancy Botwin, America's favorite pot-dealing soccer mom. Season 4 finds Albert Brooks joining the cast as Nancy's neurotic father-in-law, while Nancy, her headstrong sons and her business partner, Conrad (Romany Malco), head south to set up shop in the beachy border town of Ren Mar.

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog When he's not busy breaking the law or trying to get close to his secret crush, Penny (Felicia Day), supervillain wannabe Dr. Horrible (Neil Patrick Harris) boasts about his exploits via his Internet video blog and dreams of defeating his nemesis, Captain Hammer (Nathan Fillion). Conceived during the 2008 Hollywood writers' strike, Joss Whedon's quirky musical comedy originally debuted as an online miniseries.