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Friday, June 26, 2009

Review: Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

I liked the first movie. I grew up like most guys my age, a huge fan of Transformers. So when negative review after negative review for this movie started pouring in, my heart sank. And I decided I would wait until DVD.

Then my friend talked me into going tonight, and I did. You wanna know EXACTLY what I did tonight? Ear muffs please...... Here is what I did tonight....

I went to the fucking MOVIES tonight.

Yeah. People that are bashing this film are pathetic douche bag internet NERDS. Yeah. NERDS. That have nothing to do but sit and bitch and bitch. Here is what I am getting at....

When the first movie came out, people sat and complained about the humans in the movie. Too many humans, and a story about humans, no one wants humans, no one wants a story about humans, more robots!

So what does Michael Bay do in the sequel? Says, "well alright, you wanted it, you got it!" And gave us 2 and a half hours of Autobots Vs. Decepticons beating the holy living HELL out of each other. As well as a STORY about the TRANSFORMERS. With the humans this time, even Shia and Megan Fox, seemingly playing supporting characters that are there to just tie things together to bring action scene after action scene together.

Here are main complaints I read that got my scared that I will address right now.

The jive talkin so called "RACIST" twin robots that are BARELY IN THE GOD DAMN MOVIE. They show up in little 2 minute spurts here and there say a couple lines and carry on. Big deal, get over it, Jar Jar Binks was 1000 times worse, so shut up. Maybe if you paid attention during the movie, some of this would make sense. See the Autobots now kinda cuss and talk jive and have human like lingo. Probably because for the past two years, and yes they say this in the movie, the past TWO YEARS the Autobots have been working with humans. Hanging out with them, on the job, what not. And more than likely after hearing the way humans talk for two straight years, some of that lingo kinda rubbed off on them.

The mom eating pot brownies. Hey guess what she bought them off some kid at Sams college, dunno if you know much about college, but that kinda shit goes on, and in this movie, it was a funny little 2 minute scene, shut up.

Devastator having testicals. Yeah, he does, get over it.

And finally, people saying that this takes all of the respect paid to the cartoons and throws it away? GIVE ME A FREAKIN BREAK. This movie is more closer to what the cartoon was like than the first movie. The biggest thing I saw missing from the first movie that was a huge part of the cartoon was the banter and relationship between Starscream and Megatron. The Starscream and Megatron in THIS movie are the characters from the cartoon. Bickering with each other, Megatron getting pissed, them going to fight together, getting their asses kicked and running away. JUST LIKE IN THE CARTOON.

This is a TRANSFORMERS movie. People were saying how the story was stupid and hard to follow. I had NO problem following the story, I understood exactly what was going on and happening. People talkin about how Sam goes to college then they kinda forget about all that, well yeah god damn DECEPTICON showed up and they kinda had to go on the run? And hey maybe stay during the credits and you would see the resolution to Sam and his college life. People saying the action was all blurred and you couldn't tell the robots apart. Well you must be blind and retarded, especially since the action in some scenes is in slow motion. I knew who was who and where they all were at all times. Probably because I PAID ATTENTION, instead of PICKING APART A MOVIE THAT IS ABOUT GIANT ROBOTS FIGHTING. God damn stupid internet nerds piss me off. Picking apart a freakin SCIENCE FICTION movie.

Anyways, in closing I will say this. This movie is better than the first one. Don't listen to these idiotic reviews. This is what is called a SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER ACTION MOVIE. You want a movie about the Autobots and Decepticons? This is a movie about just that, and them beating the living crap out of each other. Faces and arms ripped off. Heads blown off. This was the Transformers movie I had been waiting for. The only negatives about it, it coulda been a tad bit shorter, but really that is it. I am 100% satisfied with this movie.


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