Update: as our new blog explains, we are no longer BunchOfJerks.com but we are still just a bunch of jerks.
Carl Winslow married Harriet in 1972 in Chicago. He was training to be a cop. And times were rough. After months of training and hard work, Carl finally made it to being a street cop, making sure the mean streets of Chicago were kept clean. In 1974 his son Eddie was born. They had just moved into their new house and life was good, for awhile. Crime sky rocketed in Chicago, and Carl was worried that after now having a kid, and buying a house, that the crime would eventually get him. He had put away a lot of people in Chicago, and many were gunning for him. So he started taking out of state jobs, flying out on Mondays and returning home for the weekends. He got better benefits for his family, and much better pay taking a low key job as a jail guard in New York.
After New York went crazy, and dealing with monsters and ghosts and demons, Carl decided that dealing with the muggers and gangsters of Chicago may not be so bad after all. So, he decided he would quit his job with the NYPD and head back to Chicago with Harriet, who by this time was pregnant with Carls 2nd child, Laura. Things were going fine, Carl made good money in New York and everything seemed to be going smoothly for awhile. Laura was born, things were good. Until Harriet came to Carl with the news that she was pregnant AGAIN. With Carls 3rd child, Judy. Carl didn't know what to do. A 3rd child would put them in a hole. And wasn't sure what to do exactly. Then, one fateful night in Chicago. A call came through. Carl answered the call and responded. He was the first on the scene and saw a kid in the street with a gun. Carl got out and drew his gun, the kid pointed his gun first, but Carl was faster and gunned the kid down. Upon seeing it closer, Carl realized the kid never actually had a gun. Carl was destroyed. Chicago Police put him on leave. Carl was unemployed, and had 3 kids and a wife to take care of. His reputation was destroyed.Carl got wind that the LAPD was in desperate need, he had a tough decision to make. He had to do SOMETHING, and being a cop was what he was the very best at. So he sucked it up like a man, moved to LA, and changed his name to Al Powell. He was afraid that people would hear the name Carl Winslow and call him a child killer. He did a great job in LA. Became Sgt. Al Powell. One night, Carl was on patrol, boring night, stopped to grab some twinkes and got a call of suspicious activity going on at Nakatomi Plaza. Carl went to investigate, in what would turn out to be the wildest night of his entire life.
After going through quite a night of helping "Roy" deal with terrorists, it was when it was all said and done that Carl got quite the surprise. Carl looked up slowly, and saw "Roy" walking out with his wife. Roy, of course being, John McClane, a cop from New York, looked up and saw the cop he was on the radio with all night, was Carl. His old friend from the NYPD who John had not seen since Carl went back to Chicago. Both looked, recognized each other, and just started laughing. Carl went home that night, and thought long and hard about everything, about how he almost died twice that night, once being from McClane himself! And that terrorist that popped up almost got him if it wasn't for his quick reflex.One day, he had flown back to Chicago, to visit, and his old boss from the Chicago Police called him up, and offered him his job back. After the fiasco in LA, Carl was recognized by the city, given a medal, and Chicago wanted him back bad. So, knowing he couldn't just quit the LAPD, he had to finish out his job in LA, while also working again for the Chicago Police.
Carl moved back, and one day, Eddie was in the kitchen, cooking when a fire broke out. Their dream home had burnt down. They had to move into an apartment while their house was being rebuilt. Harriet was constantly having to deal with their insane neighbors, Larry Appleton and Balki Bartokomous. One day, before their phone was hooked up, Carl used their phone because they were so close to cracking a huge case against a corrupt politician. Carl was not aware that Larry was a writer for the newspaper. Larry used the information he got from Carl to break the huge story, and almost blew the crackdown on the politician.
Carl realized that he could not trust that Larry, and word came in that their house was finished being remodeled. They moved back in just as school was starting. A Life calmed down though. No more terrorists. No more ghosts. His job was secure in Chicago after being promoted to Lt. Carl Winslow. But something much worse happened to Carl. A new neighbor. Named Steve Urkel. After destroying his house, getting them into a shoot out, turning Carl into Bruce Lee, Carl punching Urkels Dad in the face, losing Judy upstairs forever, and every other situation you could ever possibly imagine. Carl was faced with news that would make his life a living hell forever. His daughter Laura accepted Steve Urkels proposal for marriage. Carl, even though that damn kid drove him crazy, was finally happy in life. Carl had lived a life of ups and downs, of ghosts and terrorists, of lying neighbors, and holes in his roof 100 times. But in the end, Carl found peace.
