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Thursday, May 1, 2014

Dear Weinstein Company, Please Bring Back Michael Myers!

Every horror movie these days is pretty standard. Ghost kids. Weird ghosts. Random objects that summons ghosts. And 1 out of every 50 or so that come along actually work.

I miss my slashers. I miss my unstoppable killing machines.

Face it, the Rob Zombie Halloween movies were awful. No true fan of Halloween, like Zombie claims he is, would take a giant dump on the legacy of Michael Myers by having him be a run of the mill redneck kid with redneck parents who goes crazy. John Carpenter did it to perfection. Halloween 2 was great, 4 and 5 were good, 6 was weird, but it worked and it fit. Halloween H20 brought it all back to the first two movies and it was awesome. It was done perfectly. Then Halloween Busta Rhymes came along and while the opening was kind of cool, the rest was just pointless.

But there does not mean we need remakes, or reboots. Rob Zombies Halloween movies did not show the real Michael Myers. Just some Jason rip-off. All it would take is one or two very talented writers to go back to the original series of movies, and do a good sequel. Look at the Curse of Chucky. Child's Play movies went way off the track. Seed of Chucky was just about as awful and bullet to the head of a franchise as it gets. But they stuck with the original stories, and instead of rebooting or remaking, they did a good sequel to continue it on. Do that with Halloween! Last we saw of Myers, he opened up his eyes after being burnt to a crisp. You want to do a good Halloween movie? I'll tell you how.

First, you start off with killing Busta Rhymes. VIOLENTLY. Opening scene, send a message to the loyal fans that you are sorry about that awful last movie, and are ready to move into a new direction. Myers is back, and Busta Rhymes is killed off like he should have been. First 10 minutes of the movie right there.

Next? Simple. Do something that no Halloween movie has done. Make Michael Myers, the hunted. Every Halloween Michael Myers is stalking and killing, turn the tables. You know what one of the most popular shows going for almost 10 years now is? Supernatural. Yeah. Go that way. Laurie Strode's son, preferably played by Josh Hartnett again to keep continuity, is after Myers. He killed his friends, he drove his Mother insane and finally killed her, and we find out all these years her son has been studying and researching all things psycho, much like Loomis. So, Supernatural is about two guys, so who would Hartnett find to team up with? TOMMY DOYLE! Damn right. John Strode and Tommy Doyle are now working together to hunt and track down Michael Myers to put an end to him once and for all. DONE. FRANCHISE BACK ON TRACK.