The Greatest Web Videos Of All Time... According To Me

So here we have it, the top 5 videos from the internet that no matter how old they are, always get a good laugh out of me, so without further blah blah blah, on with the list.

NUMBER 5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gellieman - Aisha!

Holy fart beans, this shit had me in tears the first time I watched it, which was many years ago, and even today, gives me major chuckles.


NUMBER 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LEEROOOOOYYYYYYYYYY JEEEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIINS!

I don't play World Of Warcraft, but I do play some online games, and I understand what it's like to have to group together to win something, only to have one person be an complete idiot and fuck everything up. Which is hilarious.


NUMBER 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im The Juggernaut Bitch!

One of the greatest videos of our generation. Years old, yet still quoted to the day. So far this is the only web video I have seen that had something taken from it and used in an actual movie. Even though the usage of the line was horrible, and the movie itself was even worse, it was still quite the accomplishment for these guys.


NUMBER 2!!!!!!!!!!
Crazy German Kid

I don't know what the hell this kid is saying, but the fact that it isn't in any English at all, is what makes this video pure magic.


And.......... the greatest web video of all time................

GRAPE LADY FALLS!!!!!!

Yep, that's right, the stupid bitch tries to pull a little joke by telling the other lady to stop, but she goes faster, big funny joke huh? Then? BAM, FAIL, SPLAT, laughs had by me every time I see this bitch fail. Thank you stupid grape lady.

Twilight And Twilight New Moon Thoughts...

I've never read the books. Before the first movie came out, I had no idea what the Twilight books were. Up until a couple weeks ago, all I knew was there was werewolves, vampires, and lots of love and depression, or, whatever. Like most females in the world, my wife is a Twilight fan. She's more a fan of the books than the first couple movies though, but, she digs em. I was never really that interested. But, I'm not the giant homophobe that most guys are. I was down to check it out, whatever. I was not in the mindset of "WHAT VAMPIRES AND TEENS IN LOVE FUCKING GAY FUCK THAT!" I was in the mindset of, eh, whatever, I'll check it out. I dig vampires and werewolves and sure, I'm down for a little romance at that. And I heard there's some cool fight scenes here and there so alright, I'm there.

What started it all was the wife, she wanted to go see New Moon, I was a little hesitant, mainly because if I was to go to the movies, there were other movies on the "want to see" list before New Moon, well, New Moon wasn't even on that list. But she insisted I check it out. So, I had to see the first movie, which I did today, and then went and saw New Moon. And my thoughts on them?

Not bad.

I'm not a film snob, where I demand perfect acting and lighting and camera work and a perfect plot or else I will write the whole movie off. The first Twilight was entertaining and decent, even though the Cullens manage to drive from Washington to Arizona in a matter of a couple hours. Whatever, it's a movie. And as for New Moon, I thought it was better than Twilight. My only gripe being is the two heroes of the movies, Jacob and Edward, really need to stop all the damn whining. My favorite character is Emmit. Edwards brother. He's just down to party and have a good time. He doesn't spend his days in depression. SPOILERS BELOW...

In closing I will say, they're not bad movies, they're not great movies. But these movies really weren't aimed at the 27 year old geek males. But, I'm cool with them, me and Twilight can exist in a world together, I'll even go far as saying that, New Moon ends on a cliffhanger, and I was a little pissed about it, I wanted more. Can't just drop a bombshell on me and leave me hangin!

So yeah, if you like some vampires and werewolves, or sorry, SHAPESHIFTERS, and haven't read the books, you just might be a little be into these movies. As for me, my ticket for Eclipse is bought, and I'll be there to check it out. Damnit. I don't see why these movies get such a bad wrap for being bad movies. I have seen MUCH worse, I will gladly sit through another round of Twilight and New Moon over ever having to see Van Helsing or The Mummy movies ever again.

Oh, and if you're wondering if I'm Team Edward or Team Jacob, at this point? I'm on the fence. Both need to do a bit of, "Manning up" before I can decide really. But I can say that I'm leaning a bit more on the Jacob side, mainly because he gave me a new word to call sissy guys, which is Marshmellow.

Want to Buy DJ AM's Shoes?

Well if any of you loved DJ AM enough to buy his shoes, now is your chance.  AM was one of those people who seemed to have thousands of shoes in his collection, and now they're being put up for auction to raise money for the DJ AM foundation, which will help people who are also drug hounds.  Amazingly, every pair has bids and will all be going for hundreds of dollars each. I can't see paying a few hundred bucks for a pair of shoes just because a dead celebrity owned them, but hey apparently a bunch of people disagree.  So if you've got a few hundred bucks laying around, be sure and pick up a pair or two of DJ AM shoes....what better way to spend that extra holiday cash...right?

Jackass 3D. 2010. Hell Yes.

I have been a fan of Jackass since it first appeared on MTV. Along with Jackass, was the little known videos that Bam Margera did called CKY. Which was also featured in episodes of Jackass. Well, The first two Jackass movies were hilarious. And Jackass 2.5 or whatever, was pretty fun even though it was just old deleted stuff from the previous movies.

Well, now the big news was announced by Paramount. Jackass 3 is on the way. And this time, Knoxville and company will be destroying themselves and pulling off pranks in full on 3D. I will be there, opening night, 3D glasses and all.

Tila Tequila Is Drunk, Crazy, Train Wreck.

STUPID BITCH UPDATE: Alright, so Tila got pissed, and made her video private. Tila, I have a message for you. The ONLY people that give a flying shit about you and that video, are people like us, the ones you just made unable to view your shit. Realize something, in about 2 years from now, 2 short, short years, and by 2 years this is pushing it, no one on this planet will know who you are. And the ones that currently do, won't give a shit. I give you 1 more year before you make a sex tape in one last desperate attempt to hang on to those precious 15 minutes. Now, go drink some more and run around your apartment, alone, sad, and alone.

Normally I don't give a shit about this attention whore, but this is pretty awesome to watch. First she gets drunk, then turns on her web cam, and calls us all bitches, then waves a gun in our face and grounds us! Oh, and the fact that this video is longer than The Godfather! Seriously. This crazy bitch went insane for us on her web cam for a few minutes longer than The Godather movie. For those that don't know, The Godfather runs about 2 hours and 55 minutes. Yeah. If you manage to sit through this entire video, then you win some kind of award.



And since she has made her video private now, you can just laugh at this little moment from those painful 3 hours...