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Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Lindsay Lohan is Not Dead or Pregnant, Just a Little Bruised Up

Lindsay Lohan Ass at the BeachYes, we are the home of the original Lindsay Lohan death watch...but that was 2010 and now it's 2013 and Lindsay is still tearing it up making headlines every few days it seems.  We Jerks will give credit where credit is due, we called a Lindsay death headline many years ago yet she has proverbially flipped us off by continuing to live and has somehow escape spending years in prison in the process after multiple incidents of theft, car accidents, drunkenness etc.

So that covers the death watch, but pregnancy?  Well that was Lindsay's little April Fools joke on Twitter that backfired a bit.  Yes she tweeted she was pregnant, but didn't quite understand why people went off on the fact that the most unstable celebrity out there was with child before she revealed it was a joke.  She asked where their "sense of humor" was, which tells you that Lindsay has NO clue how out of control her life is. 

So these pics are of Lindsay hanging out at the beach in Brazil, where she's been hiding out er.... NOT partying or anything....yeah.  While we must admit she can still rock a bikini, we're unsure why her legs are all bruised to hell.  There's probably some great story behind them that involve hiding under tables to avoid paparazzi, but knowing Lindsay she would just claim she tripped while doing charity work for the elderly or something.  For those of you that still worship her there is plenty of Lindsay ass to be seen in the pics at least. 

So Lindsay Lohan has survived (so far) what now?  Do we extend the death watch based on the fact that her train wreck life WILL eventually end tragically?  Or is Lindsay going to keep on bucking the system and rocking on?  Hell, many people still think she's one of the hottest celebrities out there and her bad girl image only enhances that.  Here are the bruised up bikini pics to help you decide if Ms. Lohan is hot, not, or if her death watch clock is still ticking.